Things that I’ve been thinking about lately:
The garbage man’s can that has ELVIS LIVES spray-painted on it in big letters. A call from a man who lost his wife…he cried and described her death as an airplane slowly losing its parts, dropping its engine. He called because a hand-written card meant so much to him. If that’s not an advocate for old-fashioned snail-mail, I don’t know what is. Night seems so oppressive to me sometimes because I stay shut up inside. The blinds are closed and I can’t see what’s out there and that makes it more ominous. I wish tonight I had the energy (or courage?) to walk around the block, feel the cool wind on my face, and embrace Night. When I have my own home, I want to have people over all the time. Rather, I want all people to feel welcome….the wine would always flow, the bread would always be broken and ready. I worry that I don’t show enough love to V. He’s a little child so full of raw, apparent need, and my love is so lacking…where’s the line between necessary boundaries and unconditional love? The times I’ve been most carefree are the times when I’ve had little material possessions in my keeping– the Great North American Road Trip (one suitcase) and L’Abri (one dresser). FORGIVENESS. How have I not realized that I haven’t forgiven these people?? I must start now. Why do french manicures always look better than a plain manicure? Lauren’s directing Godspell and I’m going to see it. I’m so excited. To see her. To see her work. To see her actors do their thang. I want to notice people more. Notice their faces, what’s going on behind their eyes. And now I want to sleep if I’m going to wake up to watch the Royal Wedding. Am I actually going to do it? The jury’s still out on that.